(no subject)

[wildestranger]

I was just followed home by a creepy guy.

He caught up with me in a dark corner and asked for directions. I gave him directions, and he told me he had been told to go where I was going. I told him this wasn't the case. He insisted. I told him I didn't want to walk with a strange guy, no offence. He introduced himself, and told me that he'd struck up a chat because I looked friendly. I told him I wasn't friendly, and he asked 'who's told you that?'. I told him that no one had, and that I didn't want to walk with him. He insisted it was his way, and he wanted to chat on the way. I said I'd walk along the public way, a bit, as that would take us both to our directions.

He asked if I were single. He asked if I liked him. I told him no. I told him I didn't like anybody. He tried to give me his number. I told him it would be a waste of time. He insisted. I insisted. I told him he needed to go the other way to get to his destination. He insisted it was the other way, the way I was going. I told him that wasn't the case, and also, I didn't want to home walk home alone with a strange guy. After some arguing, he said he would go the way I had suggested. I started walking down my way, but after a few minutes decided I wasn't feeling safe and decided to walk back and take a bus. On my way back I saw him walk by, walking past as if to follow me. He saw me and didn't say anything. I took the bus.

I'm kind of shaking now, but mostly I'm angry. Why the hell do they think it's okay to hassle someone who clearly and vocally doesn't want company? Why do they insist? Why is telling me I'm 'friendly' supposedly the key to my company? I'm not friendly, and I'm particularly not friendly to random strangers who hassle me. And why did it take me 20 min of aggravating conversation to realise that actually, he's not just being a dick, he's going to follow me home through a dark forest and is kind of dangerous? I would not have thought that I was someone who gave people the benefit of the doubt too much, but clearly I'm too kind.

Fucking men.

Comments

[green]

*hugs you lots* I'm so sorry you had to go through such BULLSHIT.

[such_heights]

What the fuck? I am so sorry that happened to you, that's really appalling.

[legionseagle]

I know it is usually useless, but have you told the police? You never know, it may fit the MO of someone they're already alert to.

Much sympathy, those things are horrible when they happen.

[merrily]

Holy geez.

I'm glad you're okay. That was scary and wrong and dude was a dick. Good for you for getting on the bus.

[secondsilk]

Woah. I'm not sure where'd I'd have recognised the shift into creepy, but the "who's told you that?" to you saying you're not friendly was weird. I think of a good reason/motive for that.

I reckon at the insisting on giving you his phone number you could have called the police, if that were something your were comfortable doing.

[flamewarrior]

D-: I'm glad you took the bus, and that you got home safe.

*insert vast quantities of rage-filled feminist swearing here*

[effervescent.livejournal.com]

Christ. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that crap, it's uncalled for and incredibly creepy. I'm glad you went with your instincts.

[wildestranger.livejournal.com]

It's just...I sort of intellectually know that people do that, but it doesn't make sense to me why, really. And realising that he wasn't actually just being creepy, he was going to follow me and do...? That's really scary. I may never leave the house again.

[shaggydogstail.livejournal.com]

Fucking fucking bastard creepy men, ugh. This sort of thing is just SO HORRIBLE.

Hope you're feeling OK now. *snuggles*

[wildestranger.livejournal.com]

And it's not just that he was being creepy, but he was either going back to town to try it on someone else, or he was going to follow me in the dark and...? Which is more actively scary than I know how to deal with. And makes me angry about men and how they hell they make unsafe to walk in my own city.

[shaggydogstail.livejournal.com]

It is scary, no doubt. *shudders* You've got every right to be angry because why the fuck should you have to deal with this when you're just going about your business?

I'm glad you're safely home now at least. Not that it makes it all OK, but still.

[misslucyjane]

Yikes. I'm glad you're okay.

[wildestranger.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It's the not quite realising that I was in danger until after that scares me.

thank GOD you are ok.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

for goodness sake do not argue with these people. having been attacked 100 yards from my house (when i lived in essex) i was only saved by the fact that i had a tight girdle on, and i had a name badge in my hand which i swiped across his face.I'm thankful you are ok.

Re: thank GOD you are ok.

[wildestranger.livejournal.com]

Yeah. What pisses me off about this is that I didn't even realise he was actually dangerous, rather than just an obnoxious git trying to strike up a chat. And this is the closest I've been to being attacked. Clearly I haven't been paranoid enough.

But yes, I'm ok. And kind of horrified by your story - it's one thing to know intellectually that you're not safe anywhere, and quite another to experience it firsthand. Fucking hell.

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

I used to be nice, friendly, and benefit-of-the-doubty, but then a friend gave me the book "The Gift of Fear", and I started to give my instincts the right of way.

There's a fascinating story in their about a serial rapist who used to get into women's homes by offering to carry their groceries and *guilting* them into it by asking why they weren't being nice and letting *him* be nice and AAAGGHHHH!!!

So now, for me, it's "Back off, creepy guy. Not interested, have pepper spray, have a cell phone with the cops on speed dial 1, and I want you gone!"

[frantic-allonsy.livejournal.com]

+1 to your recommendation. The Gift of Fear taught me to be able to stop being so nice when somebody's creeping me the hell out. No, dude near my apartment, I do not appreciate you helping me, and I don't care if you think I'm a feminazi bitch, you are fucking creepy.

[solvent90.livejournal.com]

ARGH. That is awful. I'm glad you're safe.

[sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com]

I'm very very glad you're okay, love!! Stay safe ♥

[harriet-vane.livejournal.com]

Ugh, what the fuck???? That fucking sucks.

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

OMG. I would be shaky too. I'm so glad you're okay. *hugs*

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Hopefully he'll get what is coming to him, the bastard.

[lyras.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I am so sorry you had to deal with that, and very glad you're OK. *hugs*

[roxy-palace.livejournal.com]

I'm really, really sorry to hear this has happened to you. You must have been frightened and I'm not surprised you're shaking now.

I don't know why men feel like they have the right to pull shit like this. They're clearly lacking something they think they can only get by taking it from someone else. He probably thinks he was being friendly, the psycho.

I'm glad you got home safely. It's ok to feel scared and frustrated by something like this.

These are the incidents people don't seem to realise happen every day. They rob us of our freedom - in your case the freedom to say no, the freedom to walk where you want, the freedom to go where you please without being accosted.

I hope you feel better soon.

[codename-sherry.livejournal.com]

woah, creepy! I'm glad you got home safety.

[magic-at-mungos.livejournal.com]

That is fucking creepy and he is clearly a shit.

[airgiodslv.livejournal.com]

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. :-( I hate that someone made you feel unsafe. No one should have that right.

[georgierae.livejournal.com]

Why do guys like that pull out the 'you looked friendly' thing? ...Like that's going to get them anywhere. And the insistance at forcing their company on others? Psychos.

At least you got home safely.