wildestranger | (no subject)

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Newly married Ashlee Simpson is changing her name to Ashlee Wentz in honor of her husband, Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz.

"I think that that's something that a woman should do when they're marrying a man," she tells PEOPLE. "It's a tradition that I think is a great tradition."

Seriously? A great tradition? You mean the tradition which declares that a woman who has been her father's property now becomes her husbands' property, that tradition? The one that says a woman's identity should depend on her husband?

I just lost what little respect I had for Ashlee Simpson. And the fact that Pete Wentz seems to think it's a great idea, something that gratifies him, makes me think a lot less of him as well.

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Augh, yes. That made me headdesk as well. /o\

UGH.

UGH. And did you see that story a while ago that proved that a man taking a woman's name is not easy? It took eight months and cost over 700 dollars opposed to twenty bucks and an afternoon.

Ugh, this "tradition" really pisses me off. I hate that every single one of my married friends has taken her husband's surname - WHY? What's the point?

I'm sure that this is reason number something on the list of why my mother is against the institution of marriage.

The percentage of women marrying who take their husband's name has gone up over the last twenty years, but I think it's because the women who would previously have kept their name simply aren't marrying their partners anymore.

Catherine Deveney, a columnist and professional ranter, wrote a column/rant on how stupid/patricarchal/out-dated/sexist it is that women take their husbands' names. The backlash she got was extraordinary. Men calling talk back and saying "I told my wife she didn't have to take my name when we married" which just proved her point.

It is 2008, right? Just checking...

OK, I'm going against the tide here but, seriously - why do you care? It's her name and she can call herself what she likes. It's one thing to be annoyed at women being required or expected to take her husband's names on marriage, but I'm having trouble seeing why pouring scorn on a woman for making that choice is much better than doing so if she refuses. If there's one thing that life and experience have taught me it's that the world is full of people willing to judge women (even complete strangers!) for their personal choices, whatever they may be. It's not my flavour of feminism anyway.

(I could be really mean and point out that you've tagged your "feminist rant" about Ashlee is under her husband's full name, not hers at all, but I'm far too agreeable for that. Oops. ;p)

That's appalling. If she wants to change her name, whatever, that's up to her, even though I don't like the "tradition." But doing it because a woman *should* - and then promoting that idea - that disgusts me, even though I don't know her at all.

Pete Wentz should become Pete Simpson. Isn't he supposed to be big on subverting gender srereotypes.

I kept my name when I was married, and I dealt with a lot of raised eyebrows and snide comments. My mail would often be addressed to me with my husband's last name anyway. Especially checks, so that I'd have to sign it that way to cash them. It was very frustrating.

Words - names - are very powerful. I just could never see giving up my identity like that. A lot of women I respect think differently, as is their right, but that's how I see it.

I always hated my original last name, so when I was 30 I changed it to a middle name some members of my mother's family used. Then when I was 35, I got married, and I took his last name and used the other one as a middle name. I don't feel like I gave up any identity, but that I added bonus identity.

Hi, Ashlee, meet Lyn-Z. I think you have a lot to talk about.

It's her name and if she wants to change then it's up to her. My mum kept her name when she married my dad and doesn't even call herself Mrs. She always just puts Ms on stuff. My and my sister have double barrelled names. Chances are if and when I get married I won't change my name cos I like it but pffft. If someone else does, it's their choice. I'm not going to make a fuss.

Things that remind me she's still a minister's daughter.

Hello. I am random person whose meandering internet ramblings have led me to your little corner of the web. I think I fell in love somewhere around the Kara Thrace vs Lyn-Z question. I have no concrete answer to that one, but I'm enjoying the comparisons and mental images. So thanks for that one. If I friend you, will you say more things like that?

But to be relevant to this post, I think most of my feelings have already been articulated in earlier comments, but let me ask you this for the sake of playing Devil's advocate: Would it be more palatable for Ashlee to partake in this 'tradition' if it were done more for the added sense of commitment to her new husband rather than consciously perpetuating the ideals of ownership? Don't get me wrong, I'm inherently against the concept of monogamy myself (and marriage to a lesser extent), but I'm all for ridiculous all-encompassing love, which - I think - is what these two are all about. I doubt she meant the tradition to be viewed in such a Draconian context, rather an extension of her declaration of love.

Or, not, I dunno, that's just my view of it.

Oi. *facepalm*

I really like the Hispanic? Spanish? (I'm not quite sure where it all applies) tradition where men and women keep their names after they've married and their children's family name is a combination of their family names (they usually have double names and so you take the first part of the father's family name and the first part of the mother's family name and tadah! New family name for the baby.)

An interesting little tidbit about the Polish language: it is possible to add a suffix to the woman's last name (i.e. her husband's name) to put the name in the feminine form. At the same time, the suffix makes the woman sound like she's the property of the man. In this case it would be "Wentz" - "Wentzowa", the latter basically describing "the female belonging to Wentz". (I assume most Polish speakers don't see it that way, but I cringe every time I hear my Granny refered to by her last name like that.) (This tradition is dying out, though, as far as I can see.)

I also love it when women refer to themselves as "Mr. Peter Wentz" etc.

...you had respect for Ashlee Simpson?

jjtaylor and i have been talking about bandom and marriage and she pointed me in the direction of some of your posts and hi. i'm phin and i need you on my flist.

O.o

wtf?!

::weeps::

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