Sirius is standing in the guest bedroom with his head tilted up, drinking straight from the bottle. His eyes are closed, and Remus allows himself to unabashedly watch the curve of Sirius’ neck, the movement beneath his skin as he drinks and the way his tongue briefly laps any remaining traces of liquid as he lowers the bottle, and licks his lips. Remus licks his in response. He can taste the wine.
This is my paragraph. I mean, they're all beautiful but this paragraph is just... full. You've got Sirius's beauty and sensuality, and Remus as an onlooker but also very much the sense that Sirius is performing for him and it's uncertain whether Remus knows that he's explicitly the audience or whether he still sees himself as on the outside and man, but I'm blathering but yes. My paragraph.
Remus looks at his friends, the way James bites his nails when Lily is away and the way Sirius erupts in sudden shows of affection and guilt, and thinks safety is not the only result of secrecy. The little details and tiny touches of characterisation which are rife throughout this are just superb. You convey character and atmosphere and time without hitting the reader over the head with it.
And you write an awesome Remus as ever. Sirius will always be the object of my affections, but your Remus is passive-aggressive and intelligent and self-doubting and so painfully human.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2005-10-05 10:39 am (UTC)This is my paragraph. I mean, they're all beautiful but this paragraph is just... full. You've got Sirius's beauty and sensuality, and Remus as an onlooker but also very much the sense that Sirius is performing for him and it's uncertain whether Remus knows that he's explicitly the audience or whether he still sees himself as on the outside and man, but I'm blathering but yes. My paragraph.
Remus looks at his friends, the way James bites his nails when Lily is away and the way Sirius erupts in sudden shows of affection and guilt, and thinks safety is not the only result of secrecy.
The little details and tiny touches of characterisation which are rife throughout this are just superb. You convey character and atmosphere and time without hitting the reader over the head with it.
And you write an awesome Remus as ever. Sirius will always be the object of my affections, but your Remus is passive-aggressive and intelligent and self-doubting and so painfully human.
Excellent work. As always. :)