sarcasm always wins out in the end

i. I seem to have acquired three different icons of Spencer Smith fiddling with his cufflinks. Um, oops? Not that I have an addiction or anything. I could stop anytime, honest. If anyone finds a picture of Spencer with riding crop, I'm willing to exchange sexual favours for that. Just saying. Ryan Ross, if you're reading this, that doesn't apply to you. Should you send Spencer over, though...

ii. I was poking around at Wikipedia, as you do, and looking at the Les Liaisons Dangereuses page, when this text comes up.

This article appears to contradict the article Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Yeah, I don't know either. The mind, it boggles.

iii. Also, apparently there's a gay porn version of Les Liaisons Dangereuses? Ahahahaa, some things are just too good to be true. Someone should send me a copy, though.

So, I was thinking the other day (as one does, when surrounded by an ever-growing collection of ridiculous pictures featuring Panic At The Disco) about Meet and Greets, and particularly, about the kind of questions one might ask at a Meet and Greet. Or, rather, the kind of questions one might want to ask but wouldn't because one would get thrown out for making Ryan Ross cry public indecency.

You see where I'm going with this?

Let's have a game, then. A game where people can come up with all kinds of interesting and exciting questions that would make Ryan blush and Spencer frown and Brendon giggle like a demented five-year-old. I'll start. :)

Is its true about the band orgies?

Looking at the lyrics from your last album, I see that you, Ryan, have been particularly influenced by nonsense poetry. Want to tell us something about that?

In one of the songs on your first album, Brendon sings about being 'of consenting age'. I think it's very interesting that this is something you feel your listeners should know about you. What kind of a relationship do you think this creates between you and your fans?

In the video for 'Nine in the afternoon', we learn that Brendon is scared of girls, Jon has a fetish for moustaches and longjohns, and Spencer likes to have people dress up as animals. What do you think your part says about you, Ryan? Other than that your clock is bigger than anyone else's?

Now you. *chinhands*

Edited to add: Brendon, how would you describe your relationship with coffee tables?

Dear Panic At The Disco,

Congratulations on your new album. I admit I downloaded it for free last week, but I don't feel terribly guilty about that since I have also a) ordered it from Amazon weeks ago, b) ordered the Deluxe version after seeing some of the Making Of shenanigans on Youtube, and c) bought a real copy from Virgin Megastore today, since the other two have not yet arrived. Trust me, you are getting your money from me.

Also, while I support your right to remove the exclamation mark from your name, I feel I should point out that iTunes does not. You are still Panic! At The Disco to them. I find this terribly amusing.

That said, I really love the album. I love it so much that I have listened to it about 50 times in the last week, four of them today. I love it so much that I want to make home-made t-shirts that say Pretty.Odd. I love it so much that I want to write a Regency AU where Brendon is a country virgin sold into marriage, Ryan is a Byron wannabe who dresses up as Greek pageboy, Spencer is an officer wounded at the Peninsula whose riding crop makes maidens blush and matrons flutter their fans, and Jon is a rich merchant's son from the Indies who introduces them all to an exciting new herb.

So, well done, boys. You have impressed me and I did not expect to be impressed - you have made a record that is both interesting and enjoyable, and one that makes me want tell all my friends about it and make them buy it too. Thank you.

And now, for god's sake, someone give Brendon some cuddles. Don't make me come over there and force you all into a boypile - that will include a lot more nudity than you will be comfortable with, and possibly Pete Wentz with a camera.

Love, me

See that boy in my icon. That boy? Is trouble.

You see, My Chemical Romance is what tends to make me want to make high-pitched noises in my throat and dance in my chair and make funny faces at the computer screen (because, well, GERARD). My Chem is the band that makes me want to proselytise (Have you accepted Gerard Way as your personal saviour? Have you?) and make cds for my friends so that they too can appreciate the genius of The Black Parade and do joyful fist-bumps to Teenagers. Gerard Way's little face is what makes me randomly crack up as I'm walking down the street. I have, at a drunken moment in my past, written GERARD WAY SAVES LIVES on my arm.

Panic (!) at the Disco, on the other hand, has been the least interesting of the main bandom bands for me - I've read and enjoyed the fiction, but the real people in the band have not been something I'd want to know about. They are, after all, very young, and considerably younger than me, and just, ugh, no. Also, their music has not been a point in their favour - I can appreciate that it's technically interesting, and some of the lyrics are intriguing, but I haven't actually enjoyed listening to them that much. As I told airinshaw before the concert, I'm just in this for the gayporn. And Brendon's coffee-table, which never stops being a source of great hilarity.

But then, a few things happened. I went to see Panic in concert, and found myself inexplicably charmed by them. So tiny and endearing and good-humoured, so enthusiastic about their music! Suddenly, it became important for me that they know how great the concert was, how wonderful the new songs. And then the thing about Brendon possibly coming out at the Manchester gig, and then the album leak and and and.

And now I can't stop listening to Pretty. Odd. I make doot-doot-doot noises whilst making coffee. I'm concerned about whether Brendon Urie has a safe space in which to come out should he so wish! I worry about whether he gets enough cuddles from his bandmates! Ryan Ross has changed from That Slightly Shifty-Looking Bloke Who Would Probably Sneer At Me to a Brave Boy With Endlessly Entertaining Wardrobe Choices. And Spencer Smith, well. I might possibly acknowledge that he looks rather attractive when he bangs his drum. Not that I'd want to do anything about it, since he is so very young, but. I have also began to pander the new album to my friends, and have been known to babble about How Panic Discovered The Beatles And Cannabis, but how it's actually much better than that, and they all sing and that's just very exciting and apparently Ryan Ross can carry a tune, who knew? Mad As Rabbits makes me sing along and twirl in my chair and make ridiculous rock poses and I love it.

As I was telling captain_stem yesterday, it's not that I ever had shame (I have never had shame), but now I have embarrassment.

So, cuddles? *g*

PANIC! CONCERT! SO MANY TEENAGERS!

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i. Have made a small flist-cut. It's not because I hate you. We've just grown apart as people, etc.

ii. I have acquired a Dead!-hoodie, which, despite being a size small, is big enough for me to curl into a ball and fit inside it. Hmm. *is very small* At least I managed to scandalise the aspirational middle class patrons at Brown's, who clearly felt that people with Dead!-hoodies should not be frequenting such establishments or enjoying their afternoon tea there. Oh the joys of transgression. ;)

iii. Re: SGA S4 - now that both John Sheppard and Rodney McKay have been established as gay, do you think that we can expect a kiss at some point? Thoughts? Illustrative porn?

iv. A question for the ages: Why is Ryan Ross so funny-looking? He has a perfectly good face, with cheekbones and a mouth and everything that should be attractive, and yet he just looks weird and awkward. Can anyone shed light on this mystery?

Or maybe it's just that he looks a lot like my 14-year-old sister, which is not a suitable look for any young man. *g*

I'm having a massive panic attack.

Some of you might remember that a few months ago I had to throw away a pair of boots because they'd become infested with maggots. What I don't think I mentioned here is that a week before moving out of my last house, my housemates and I kept finding tiny white insects in our kitchen - particularly on clean dishes and such, but generally around one area that included my food cabinet, the dishrack, and the hob. They look like dust specks until they start moving, and they were really hard to kill. I had to throw away most of my food, and we used insecticide on the whole area, except on glassware and such.

After I moving to my new place, I've been checking all my glasses for anything that might move. I've been paranoid about it, because I really didn't want to bring the infestation here. After a few weeks I started to relax since I hadn't seen one insect here, but then yesterday, calamity struck. Yes, I'm allowed to be melodramatic, I'm this close to tearing my hair out.

I found one of these insects on a pair of boots. The boots have been living in my closet with all my other shoes, my clothes, some valuable books.

I also noticed several of these insects on my glassware. Washing them doesn't help - I've started using Dettol but I don't think that will either. I haven't seen any signs of them on my food, yet, but the kitchen is quite small and everything has been everywhere at some poins. At least two cupboards have been infected, and I fear that they might be in the rest of the flat as well.

I haven't been able to figre out what they are yet - not termites, because they don't shy away from light, not sprigntails, because they don't jump. But if you've had similar experiences, please advice me. I am really panicking about this.

Help?