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wildestrangerTitle: How To Find Your Inner Lesbian
Pairing: Rodney Mckay/John Sheppard
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Words: 1677
Rating: R
Summary: John Sheppard is turning into a girl. Takes place sometime during season one. No spoilers.
Notes: Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
avoteforla for reading this through! This story is dedicated to sheafrotherdon, as thank you for introducing me to the fandom and for getting me episodes and generally for being the biggest enabler ever. It's a great world to inhabit and I'm so glad to have found it.
Major John Sheppard is not a girl.
He is very keen on this. He is an Air Force Major, after all, and makes a point of showing many manly qualities. He likes football, and beer, and not cleaning his room. He doesn't talk about his feelings, or admit to having any, for that matter. He doesn't cry, or paint his toenails, or make funny noises at the sight of fluffy animals.
Still, he must be turning into a girl, cause that's the only thing that explains his reaction to Rodney Mckay's chin.
It's not a particularly attractive chin, objectively speaking. It's not delicate or curved or smooth or any of the other things John is used to finding attractive about chins. Not that he's given a lot of thought to chins being attractive. They haven't been, before, and that's just one more sign about things going wrong and wrong and also wrong as Rodney likes to say.
No, Rodney's chin is mostly square, kind of uneven, and hiding a bit of a double chin beneath. It gets pushed out and pointed at people when Rodney is annoyed, or worried or convinced that he's right and everybody else is wrong, which is pretty much all the time. The thing is, whenever Rodney does that, John gets this urge to nudge his head higher up with his nose and bite the soft flesh under Rodney's jaw. Rodney sometimes forgets to shave there, and there are patches that are darker than others, and John wants to trace them with his tongue until Rodney whines like he's being withheld coffee.
When Rodney' s worried, there's a different kind of tilt, and Rodney's mouth tends to be open and curving with unhappiness, his eyes wide and blinking and almost helpless until he snaps out of it and figures out a way to save the universe. But there's a moment when he stands still, his chin wobbling with anxiety and it makes John want to pin him against the nearest wall and suck on his pulse point until it's all okay.
Rodney's not the kind of guy who should be attractive. He's more like a clumsy over-excited puppy, which is why John figures he's turning into a girl, because it's only girls who think chubby little animals are cute and endearing.
The fact that John can't stop thinking about licking the sweat from behind Rodney's ear while stroking his throat with his thumb is disturbing in many other ways, mostly because they're friends, and both guys, and John's in the military and Rodney is obnoxious and annoying.
But mainly he just worries about turning into a girl.
: :
John's the kind of guy (still a guy in certain important ways, he knows, because he checks every morning) who likes to mind his own business. He likes to walk around the corridors in Atlantis, just walk and think and watch, and not bother people. If his walks happen to take place around the science labs, or if his thoughts tend to center around the huffing little noises Mckay makes when he eats powerbars, that's no one's business but his.
It gives him a chance to hear some interesting conversations, though.
"What do you mean, how does he make it stick up like that? How should I know, do you think I waste my valuable brain power thinking about Major Sheppard's hair?"
"But Rodney, you know that…"
"Radek, I realise that the condition of your hair is of utmost importance to you. The only reason, after all, that can explain why your calculations are so very wrong is because you've spent the last two hours thinking about ways to emulate Major Sheppard's hair and not about astrophysics. However, I would like to remind you that we are not all equally afflicted with stupid girl crushes on pretty flyboys, so I'll thank you in the future not to assume that I know anything about his conditioner and spare me the humiliation of such conversations!"
"Rodney, you said…"
"No, I didn't! I said nothing of the kind! Now get back to work!"
There's another huffing noise after that, a small wet one that makes John lean against the wall and take deep breaths. Yep, still turning into a girl.
But it appears he's not the only one. He risks a quick peek into the now silent lab to find Rodney with his back towards the door and his shoulders silently quivering, and Zelenka, not quite hiding a smirk as he leans closer to his laptop. He catches John's eye for a minute, and the smirk widens. John nods towards Rodney, and winks.
Zelenka winks back and shows far too many teeth in his grin.
Okay, John muses with one last longing glance towards Rodney's BDU-covered ass, now that's something to think about.
: :
It's not quite the strategy to defeat the Wraith once and for all, but it's a pretty good plan. Find Rodney when he's alone in his quarters, and it's late enough that he's stopped overdosing himself on coffee for the day. Knock on his door with a flimsy excuse and gain entrance. Pin Rodney against the nearest available surface and nuzzle his neck until there are flailing arms and wet little moans and a writhing astrophysicist in his arms.
Okay, so not the greatest plan ever but John is rather keen on it. Especially the part about Rodney's neck.
He knocks.
"Major? It's kind of late and…is there something I can help you with?"
There's a headache from drinking too much coffee for too long in Rodney's voice and a whine that has had a full day's worth of spouting abuse at minions to grow in irritation. Perhaps John is not so much a girl as just insane. Still, there is the chin.
John begins to smile, and puts on his own whine.
"Hi, Rodney, I was wondering if I could have a word? There's something I wanted to ask you."
"Well, it's quite late, actually, and I've got a long day tomorrow so can't this…I guess it can't. Come on right in, Major, make yourself at home. Oh wait, you just did."
It really shouldn't be charming but John can't help the grin. Especially when it makes Rodney scowl like that.
"Well, what is it? I assume it's important."
"Yes, it is. See, I happened to overhear a conversation the other day. Between you and Zelenka. Something about my hair?"
Rodney is already turning pale, his eyes growing wider and his mouth trying helplessly to form a straight line. John takes a step closer.
He thought it would be hard keeping a straight face, but somehow the look on Rodney's face makes it easy.
"Tell me, Rodney, do you ever feel like you're turning into a girl?"
Rodney opens his mouth but nothing comes out, only fast breaths and the beginning of a slight whine. Of course, that may have more to do with the fact that John has now pinned him against the door, his wrists pulled up and caught by John's hands, than with any difficulty in answering the question.
"Ever feel like you want to…run your hands through my hair?"
Rodney's chin wobbles and John leans down to trail his teeth along the jaw. Just a little taste, just enough for Rodney to go utterly still, and for John to feel the rapid pulse beneath his fingers. He promises himself that he will trace the veins on Rodney's wrists with his tongue later.
"Major? What are you…what is this?"
John grins and Rodney smiles back a little, and even though it's more of a humor-the-lunatic kind of smile than a real one, it still makes Rodney's lips curve and that makes John happy. So happy, in fact, that he lets himself tug at Rodney's earlobe with his teeth. From what John can feel, that seems to make Rodney quite happy too. It also causes little moan to come out, and then John has to let got of Rodney's left wrist because he needs his fingers to stroke Rodney's jaw and to keep him in place while John kisses him.
There's a moment of shocked stillness, but then Rodney's lower lip shivers between John's teeth and that wide mouth is opening against his, pulling him in, and there's a warm hand curving around his neck and rubbing his nape.
I thought I'd make sure you weren't turning into a girl, he tries to say, but Rodney is tilting his chin up and there's all that neck for him to suck and bite and kiss, and really, that investigation can wait a little longer. John slides a hand under Rodney's shirt, finding warm flesh and soft hair and tight nipples, and hmm, Rodney clearly likes that. He presses closer and twists his hips and then there's all kinds of wonderful friction and heat and slick skin, and John decides to stop thinking.
The preliminary report is very promising, at least.
: :
Later, when John's nose is pressed against Rodney's adam's apple and there are blunt nails slowly stroking his back, John gets an idea.
"So if you're a girl and I'm a girl, does that make us lesbians?"
Rodney blinks slowly. John starts feeling like a girl again.
"Um, actually, no."
Another sleepy silence and John fights the urge to count Rodney's eyelashes.
"That would be pretty hot, though. You know, hot lesbians. Together."
Rodney pats John's ass and trails his lips along John's cheekbone.
"See, you're rediscovering your masculinity already."
There's a warm thigh sliding between his legs and a thumb rubbing his hipbone. John nuzzles closer.
"Although I still can't believe it about the hair gel."
"I told you, it does that naturally."
"Oh please. Why does it smell like L'Oreal then? Because you're worth it?"
At that, John decides to give in to his urge and bites the soft flesh under Rodney's jaw.
It makes Rodney giggle like a girl, so John does it again, happy in the knowledge that he is not alone in this.
Pairing: Rodney Mckay/John Sheppard
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Words: 1677
Rating: R
Summary: John Sheppard is turning into a girl. Takes place sometime during season one. No spoilers.
Notes: Thanks to
avoteforla for reading this through! This story is dedicated to sheafrotherdon, as thank you for introducing me to the fandom and for getting me episodes and generally for being the biggest enabler ever. It's a great world to inhabit and I'm so glad to have found it. Major John Sheppard is not a girl.
He is very keen on this. He is an Air Force Major, after all, and makes a point of showing many manly qualities. He likes football, and beer, and not cleaning his room. He doesn't talk about his feelings, or admit to having any, for that matter. He doesn't cry, or paint his toenails, or make funny noises at the sight of fluffy animals.
Still, he must be turning into a girl, cause that's the only thing that explains his reaction to Rodney Mckay's chin.
It's not a particularly attractive chin, objectively speaking. It's not delicate or curved or smooth or any of the other things John is used to finding attractive about chins. Not that he's given a lot of thought to chins being attractive. They haven't been, before, and that's just one more sign about things going wrong and wrong and also wrong as Rodney likes to say.
No, Rodney's chin is mostly square, kind of uneven, and hiding a bit of a double chin beneath. It gets pushed out and pointed at people when Rodney is annoyed, or worried or convinced that he's right and everybody else is wrong, which is pretty much all the time. The thing is, whenever Rodney does that, John gets this urge to nudge his head higher up with his nose and bite the soft flesh under Rodney's jaw. Rodney sometimes forgets to shave there, and there are patches that are darker than others, and John wants to trace them with his tongue until Rodney whines like he's being withheld coffee.
When Rodney' s worried, there's a different kind of tilt, and Rodney's mouth tends to be open and curving with unhappiness, his eyes wide and blinking and almost helpless until he snaps out of it and figures out a way to save the universe. But there's a moment when he stands still, his chin wobbling with anxiety and it makes John want to pin him against the nearest wall and suck on his pulse point until it's all okay.
Rodney's not the kind of guy who should be attractive. He's more like a clumsy over-excited puppy, which is why John figures he's turning into a girl, because it's only girls who think chubby little animals are cute and endearing.
The fact that John can't stop thinking about licking the sweat from behind Rodney's ear while stroking his throat with his thumb is disturbing in many other ways, mostly because they're friends, and both guys, and John's in the military and Rodney is obnoxious and annoying.
But mainly he just worries about turning into a girl.
: :
John's the kind of guy (still a guy in certain important ways, he knows, because he checks every morning) who likes to mind his own business. He likes to walk around the corridors in Atlantis, just walk and think and watch, and not bother people. If his walks happen to take place around the science labs, or if his thoughts tend to center around the huffing little noises Mckay makes when he eats powerbars, that's no one's business but his.
It gives him a chance to hear some interesting conversations, though.
"What do you mean, how does he make it stick up like that? How should I know, do you think I waste my valuable brain power thinking about Major Sheppard's hair?"
"But Rodney, you know that…"
"Radek, I realise that the condition of your hair is of utmost importance to you. The only reason, after all, that can explain why your calculations are so very wrong is because you've spent the last two hours thinking about ways to emulate Major Sheppard's hair and not about astrophysics. However, I would like to remind you that we are not all equally afflicted with stupid girl crushes on pretty flyboys, so I'll thank you in the future not to assume that I know anything about his conditioner and spare me the humiliation of such conversations!"
"Rodney, you said…"
"No, I didn't! I said nothing of the kind! Now get back to work!"
There's another huffing noise after that, a small wet one that makes John lean against the wall and take deep breaths. Yep, still turning into a girl.
But it appears he's not the only one. He risks a quick peek into the now silent lab to find Rodney with his back towards the door and his shoulders silently quivering, and Zelenka, not quite hiding a smirk as he leans closer to his laptop. He catches John's eye for a minute, and the smirk widens. John nods towards Rodney, and winks.
Zelenka winks back and shows far too many teeth in his grin.
Okay, John muses with one last longing glance towards Rodney's BDU-covered ass, now that's something to think about.
: :
It's not quite the strategy to defeat the Wraith once and for all, but it's a pretty good plan. Find Rodney when he's alone in his quarters, and it's late enough that he's stopped overdosing himself on coffee for the day. Knock on his door with a flimsy excuse and gain entrance. Pin Rodney against the nearest available surface and nuzzle his neck until there are flailing arms and wet little moans and a writhing astrophysicist in his arms.
Okay, so not the greatest plan ever but John is rather keen on it. Especially the part about Rodney's neck.
He knocks.
"Major? It's kind of late and…is there something I can help you with?"
There's a headache from drinking too much coffee for too long in Rodney's voice and a whine that has had a full day's worth of spouting abuse at minions to grow in irritation. Perhaps John is not so much a girl as just insane. Still, there is the chin.
John begins to smile, and puts on his own whine.
"Hi, Rodney, I was wondering if I could have a word? There's something I wanted to ask you."
"Well, it's quite late, actually, and I've got a long day tomorrow so can't this…I guess it can't. Come on right in, Major, make yourself at home. Oh wait, you just did."
It really shouldn't be charming but John can't help the grin. Especially when it makes Rodney scowl like that.
"Well, what is it? I assume it's important."
"Yes, it is. See, I happened to overhear a conversation the other day. Between you and Zelenka. Something about my hair?"
Rodney is already turning pale, his eyes growing wider and his mouth trying helplessly to form a straight line. John takes a step closer.
He thought it would be hard keeping a straight face, but somehow the look on Rodney's face makes it easy.
"Tell me, Rodney, do you ever feel like you're turning into a girl?"
Rodney opens his mouth but nothing comes out, only fast breaths and the beginning of a slight whine. Of course, that may have more to do with the fact that John has now pinned him against the door, his wrists pulled up and caught by John's hands, than with any difficulty in answering the question.
"Ever feel like you want to…run your hands through my hair?"
Rodney's chin wobbles and John leans down to trail his teeth along the jaw. Just a little taste, just enough for Rodney to go utterly still, and for John to feel the rapid pulse beneath his fingers. He promises himself that he will trace the veins on Rodney's wrists with his tongue later.
"Major? What are you…what is this?"
John grins and Rodney smiles back a little, and even though it's more of a humor-the-lunatic kind of smile than a real one, it still makes Rodney's lips curve and that makes John happy. So happy, in fact, that he lets himself tug at Rodney's earlobe with his teeth. From what John can feel, that seems to make Rodney quite happy too. It also causes little moan to come out, and then John has to let got of Rodney's left wrist because he needs his fingers to stroke Rodney's jaw and to keep him in place while John kisses him.
There's a moment of shocked stillness, but then Rodney's lower lip shivers between John's teeth and that wide mouth is opening against his, pulling him in, and there's a warm hand curving around his neck and rubbing his nape.
I thought I'd make sure you weren't turning into a girl, he tries to say, but Rodney is tilting his chin up and there's all that neck for him to suck and bite and kiss, and really, that investigation can wait a little longer. John slides a hand under Rodney's shirt, finding warm flesh and soft hair and tight nipples, and hmm, Rodney clearly likes that. He presses closer and twists his hips and then there's all kinds of wonderful friction and heat and slick skin, and John decides to stop thinking.
The preliminary report is very promising, at least.
: :
Later, when John's nose is pressed against Rodney's adam's apple and there are blunt nails slowly stroking his back, John gets an idea.
"So if you're a girl and I'm a girl, does that make us lesbians?"
Rodney blinks slowly. John starts feeling like a girl again.
"Um, actually, no."
Another sleepy silence and John fights the urge to count Rodney's eyelashes.
"That would be pretty hot, though. You know, hot lesbians. Together."
Rodney pats John's ass and trails his lips along John's cheekbone.
"See, you're rediscovering your masculinity already."
There's a warm thigh sliding between his legs and a thumb rubbing his hipbone. John nuzzles closer.
"Although I still can't believe it about the hair gel."
"I told you, it does that naturally."
"Oh please. Why does it smell like L'Oreal then? Because you're worth it?"
At that, John decides to give in to his urge and bites the soft flesh under Rodney's jaw.
It makes Rodney giggle like a girl, so John does it again, happy in the knowledge that he is not alone in this.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2006-08-11 07:28 am (UTC)Ahem. Yes. Thank you!
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Date: 2006-08-13 12:01 pm (UTC)(Yay for bonus out-takes!)