A year in review
Jan. 1st, 2015 02:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wildestrangerSo, 2014. I haven't done a year in review thing before, but thought it might be a good idea this time - there are things I've done that are worth remembering, perhaps celebrating, or at least, worth reminding myself about. I like the idea of having a structured space to think about one's life, and how to make it better: New Year's resolutions are a thing I enjoy making and completing. That said, a caveat; while there are good things going on, and I'm going to talk about them here, I am finding life pretty miserable for a number of situational reasons; it is winter, which means I am cold all the time, and I know I cannot think or make decisions very well when I am cold; I am five months into a bedbug infestation, which doesn't want to give up despite three professional fumigations and endless washings of all my things; I kind of hate my job, which is both boring and exhausting, and while I like my colleagues I have such strong, let's say "philosophical", differences with my boss that I really don't want to stay there; I have little hope of finding a new job, because despite having four degrees I am pretty much unemployable, as years of unsuccessful job hunting show; while I don't regret giving up academia and academic job hunting for several reasons, I am still pretty fucked up about it and can't imagine I won't ever feel like a failure because of it. All of these things mean that I have limited spoons for either fannish or social activities, which I am sorry for - but these are the things I carry, and while I try to put them down, sometimes I can't.
Anyway, good things! There are, in fact, good things that happened in 2014, and which will continue to be good for a long time to come.
I found a permanent and full-time job! Which, even though I kind of hate it, does have many things in its favour, especially the fact that I can now pay my rent every month and don't have to worry about that. As this is the first time this has happened, I do not take that lightly. That is a world of stress I no longer have.
My job, although fairly badly-paying, does allow me enough extra for a little traveling, and this, I've discovered, is a thing crucial to my happiness. I went to Paris in August with three friends, and spent three days indulging in French wine and historical museums, and it was glorious. I'm going to Florence in March for my birthday, and will visit either Bruges or Paris (again, there are still museums I haven't seen!) in the summer.
Fandom-wise: I started the year ridiculously invested in Les Misérables, and this hasn't changed - I still have a lot of feelings about the revolutionary boys, and my enjoyment of the various related media has increased to encompass a) a small part of the actual book (which I seriously hated on the first reading), b) a considerable amount of the songs in the musical (Note, not the whole musical. It still has too much about Jean Valjean and his feelings, not to mention Marius and his lonely soul), and c) the whole film. I know, I know, it is TERRIBLE, and yet it makes me so happy to watch it. I actively like Russell Crowe's performance as Javert, and his sweaty stalking and obsessiveness make even Jean Valjean interesting. Watching it with the subtitles on is a treat - so much heavy breathing when they're together! Not to mention that I honestly think Aaron Tveit and George Blagden give brilliant performances, and much of the scenes with the revolutionary boys are so well put together.
I am also writing in this fandom. The abovementioned reasons for misery have made me less inspired to write fiction in the last few years, but in 2014 I started writing again. I posted one canon era AU in July, and last week, the first chapter of something I had begun the previous Christmas. I have spent the year in that world, creating back stories and scenarios and AU characterisations (Why do they all have French names in a British AU? Who owns the flat that Enjolras and Combeferre share? What is the Thing with Eponine and Combeferre?), and it is a very enjoyable world, but I figured I should start sharing it before it becomes a fully-plotted but never finished story. (I have another one of those in my head, where Enjolras a traumatised and virginal civil servant. I mostly keep it for those moments when I need to think about cuddling.) Not only will this, hopefully, help me write more of it as well as publish it before next Christmas, but also remind me that I am part of a community and that I do want to participate in that community more than I currently do.
Best books read:
Technically, this should be Dorothy Dunnett's Lymond Chronicles, since I did reread them this year and they are the Best Books Ever, however, I suspect the question refers to books I hadn't previously read, so. Two things are relevant here: one, that my job comes with an hour's commute each way, which means I have a lot more time for reading than I've had since I have a teenager, and two, I've begun a reading project on non-anglophone European fiction. So far this has included three Turkish novels, two German, two French, one Finnish, and five Spanish ones, as well as three books about the Spanish Civil War. The one I was most impressed and fascinated by was Juan Goytisolo's Signs of Identity, which is about post-civil war era Spain. The author has recently been awarded the Cervantes prize, which is kind of a big deal since he actively promotes an anti-Spain stance in his works, and has consequently been not very popular there - he has lived in exile since 1956. But he is very good and very interesting, and my new year's treat to myself is three new books by him. I will probably do a separate post about Spanish Civil War-related books at some point, since I have a lot of thoughts about them and worth exploring at length.
Best TV watched:
Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. These were a Christmas present to myself, and oh my they are a delight. Phryne Fisher is magnificent, and how wonderful it is to see a female character whose narrative does not revolve around her finding true love - either in terms of the show or her own life. It's not just that she isn't looking (there are many female characters who don't), but rather that the question is irrelevant. She has her life, her found family of friends and dependents, her occupation and her cultural interests, and every now and then she saves the life of some dashing your man and has sex with him, perfectly guilt-free and with unabashed enjoyment. Moreover, she also has an ongoing flirtation with Detective Inspector Jack Robinson, which a) creates so many smouldering looks that I often have to bite my fist to keep from screaming my feelings, and b) has not reason, or need, to go anywhere else than where it currently is: a friendship with trust and comfort and companionship, with occasional flirtatious moments which they both know not to indulge in.
Best films seen:
Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I liked Steve Rogers in his previous outings, but I did not expect to have so many feelings about Bucky Barnes, or Sebastian Stan's face. But I did. So many feelings, so much clutching of my scarf! And it is a glorious fandom with a lot of great fic, although sometimes in the middle of a PTSD-recovery fic I need to remind myself that I am not, in fact, the Winter Soldier, even though his step-by-step plan is sometimes the same as mine.
Best things bought:
Plane tickets to Florence - planned for months, and carefully saved for, ideally located and timed, and also cheap.
The music of 2014:
I discovered two new things in 2014; that I really like early music, specially Palestrina and Purcell, and that the Arctic Monkeys make my hips twitch involuntarily and spontaneous solitary dance-offs may happen. Subsequent to these discoveries, I have attended an early music festival, in which I found that listening to historical music in a historical setting makes me very happy, and also made a dance-only song list of the Arctic Monkeys, which I put on after stressful work days.
Fashion concept:
Red dresses! Dresses of power! This actually started with an Eponine/Combeferre fic (this is a sadly underwritten pairing in the fandom, about which I have as many feelings as about Enjolras and Grantaire), in which Eponine ties Combeferre up with the belt in her dress, and which made me go hmmm. It is a tendency in many dresses sold today to come with a belt, a fact which I did not previously appreciate. It occurred to me, however, that these belts could be used to tie up a man and hold him down. And that the belt could be worn as a sign of one's ability to do this.
I also had a lot of thoughts about a modern Eponine Thenardier, and how an angry young woman who hates the world might dress, and how dresses might be used as both sources and indicators of power. I have started buying, and wearing, dresses, a significant majority of which are in red, to the extent that my new colleagues now associate these as the things I wear. It is a fairly radical change in comparison to my previous styles, and has enabled me to think more, and better, about how I present myself and how I view my body.
Global happenings and politics:
Lots of things are happening, and I am angry about a lot of them. I am angry about Ferguson, and every subsequent killing of a black person and the overwhelming indifference of the US state; I am angry about mass-graves in Mexico, and how they keep finding more of them but not the one they were looking for, just ones no one had thought to look for before; I'm really angry about the rise of right-wing politics in Europe, and really really angry about current British politics - the anti-immigration rhetoric promoted by the press, the government policies which make the life of so many people so much worse, the systematic unfairness at the heart of our society which people seem happy to ignore. I am sufficiently angry to want to do something about all of this, but I don't know what there is for me to do. I don't think things can change unless people in power stop being selfish dickheads, which seems unlikely. It has been quite educational to be thinking about all of this while reading about historical revolutions (the French revolution of 1789, the failed rebellion of 1832, the successful rebellion in Spain in 1936 and its horrific consequences). What makes a person rise up in armed revolt against the state? And why do they think it will work? I am not advocating armed rebellion myself, mind - I don't think it's likely to work, and the chances of getting killed are very high. But it is an interesting question.
Things never done before:
Got a credit card. The flexibility it gives and the financial security it indicates are really something.
Resolutions:
I tend to make resolutions with despair - find a better job, finish that article, stop being a failure at last - and while I would like to do all of those things in 2015, I thought perhaps a more positive attitude would be helpful this time around. So: make plans to travel in Europe. Spend more time in museums and art galleries, and engage with them. Learn Italian - not perfectly, but more than I did before. Learn more things to cook, and enjoy cooking more. Dance more. Sing more. Enjoy what I'm wearing more. Drink less, but with more enjoyment.
Anyway, good things! There are, in fact, good things that happened in 2014, and which will continue to be good for a long time to come.
I found a permanent and full-time job! Which, even though I kind of hate it, does have many things in its favour, especially the fact that I can now pay my rent every month and don't have to worry about that. As this is the first time this has happened, I do not take that lightly. That is a world of stress I no longer have.
My job, although fairly badly-paying, does allow me enough extra for a little traveling, and this, I've discovered, is a thing crucial to my happiness. I went to Paris in August with three friends, and spent three days indulging in French wine and historical museums, and it was glorious. I'm going to Florence in March for my birthday, and will visit either Bruges or Paris (again, there are still museums I haven't seen!) in the summer.
Fandom-wise: I started the year ridiculously invested in Les Misérables, and this hasn't changed - I still have a lot of feelings about the revolutionary boys, and my enjoyment of the various related media has increased to encompass a) a small part of the actual book (which I seriously hated on the first reading), b) a considerable amount of the songs in the musical (Note, not the whole musical. It still has too much about Jean Valjean and his feelings, not to mention Marius and his lonely soul), and c) the whole film. I know, I know, it is TERRIBLE, and yet it makes me so happy to watch it. I actively like Russell Crowe's performance as Javert, and his sweaty stalking and obsessiveness make even Jean Valjean interesting. Watching it with the subtitles on is a treat - so much heavy breathing when they're together! Not to mention that I honestly think Aaron Tveit and George Blagden give brilliant performances, and much of the scenes with the revolutionary boys are so well put together.
I am also writing in this fandom. The abovementioned reasons for misery have made me less inspired to write fiction in the last few years, but in 2014 I started writing again. I posted one canon era AU in July, and last week, the first chapter of something I had begun the previous Christmas. I have spent the year in that world, creating back stories and scenarios and AU characterisations (Why do they all have French names in a British AU? Who owns the flat that Enjolras and Combeferre share? What is the Thing with Eponine and Combeferre?), and it is a very enjoyable world, but I figured I should start sharing it before it becomes a fully-plotted but never finished story. (I have another one of those in my head, where Enjolras a traumatised and virginal civil servant. I mostly keep it for those moments when I need to think about cuddling.) Not only will this, hopefully, help me write more of it as well as publish it before next Christmas, but also remind me that I am part of a community and that I do want to participate in that community more than I currently do.
Best books read:
Technically, this should be Dorothy Dunnett's Lymond Chronicles, since I did reread them this year and they are the Best Books Ever, however, I suspect the question refers to books I hadn't previously read, so. Two things are relevant here: one, that my job comes with an hour's commute each way, which means I have a lot more time for reading than I've had since I have a teenager, and two, I've begun a reading project on non-anglophone European fiction. So far this has included three Turkish novels, two German, two French, one Finnish, and five Spanish ones, as well as three books about the Spanish Civil War. The one I was most impressed and fascinated by was Juan Goytisolo's Signs of Identity, which is about post-civil war era Spain. The author has recently been awarded the Cervantes prize, which is kind of a big deal since he actively promotes an anti-Spain stance in his works, and has consequently been not very popular there - he has lived in exile since 1956. But he is very good and very interesting, and my new year's treat to myself is three new books by him. I will probably do a separate post about Spanish Civil War-related books at some point, since I have a lot of thoughts about them and worth exploring at length.
Best TV watched:
Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. These were a Christmas present to myself, and oh my they are a delight. Phryne Fisher is magnificent, and how wonderful it is to see a female character whose narrative does not revolve around her finding true love - either in terms of the show or her own life. It's not just that she isn't looking (there are many female characters who don't), but rather that the question is irrelevant. She has her life, her found family of friends and dependents, her occupation and her cultural interests, and every now and then she saves the life of some dashing your man and has sex with him, perfectly guilt-free and with unabashed enjoyment. Moreover, she also has an ongoing flirtation with Detective Inspector Jack Robinson, which a) creates so many smouldering looks that I often have to bite my fist to keep from screaming my feelings, and b) has not reason, or need, to go anywhere else than where it currently is: a friendship with trust and comfort and companionship, with occasional flirtatious moments which they both know not to indulge in.
Best films seen:
Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I liked Steve Rogers in his previous outings, but I did not expect to have so many feelings about Bucky Barnes, or Sebastian Stan's face. But I did. So many feelings, so much clutching of my scarf! And it is a glorious fandom with a lot of great fic, although sometimes in the middle of a PTSD-recovery fic I need to remind myself that I am not, in fact, the Winter Soldier, even though his step-by-step plan is sometimes the same as mine.
Best things bought:
Plane tickets to Florence - planned for months, and carefully saved for, ideally located and timed, and also cheap.
The music of 2014:
I discovered two new things in 2014; that I really like early music, specially Palestrina and Purcell, and that the Arctic Monkeys make my hips twitch involuntarily and spontaneous solitary dance-offs may happen. Subsequent to these discoveries, I have attended an early music festival, in which I found that listening to historical music in a historical setting makes me very happy, and also made a dance-only song list of the Arctic Monkeys, which I put on after stressful work days.
Fashion concept:
Red dresses! Dresses of power! This actually started with an Eponine/Combeferre fic (this is a sadly underwritten pairing in the fandom, about which I have as many feelings as about Enjolras and Grantaire), in which Eponine ties Combeferre up with the belt in her dress, and which made me go hmmm. It is a tendency in many dresses sold today to come with a belt, a fact which I did not previously appreciate. It occurred to me, however, that these belts could be used to tie up a man and hold him down. And that the belt could be worn as a sign of one's ability to do this.
I also had a lot of thoughts about a modern Eponine Thenardier, and how an angry young woman who hates the world might dress, and how dresses might be used as both sources and indicators of power. I have started buying, and wearing, dresses, a significant majority of which are in red, to the extent that my new colleagues now associate these as the things I wear. It is a fairly radical change in comparison to my previous styles, and has enabled me to think more, and better, about how I present myself and how I view my body.
Global happenings and politics:
Lots of things are happening, and I am angry about a lot of them. I am angry about Ferguson, and every subsequent killing of a black person and the overwhelming indifference of the US state; I am angry about mass-graves in Mexico, and how they keep finding more of them but not the one they were looking for, just ones no one had thought to look for before; I'm really angry about the rise of right-wing politics in Europe, and really really angry about current British politics - the anti-immigration rhetoric promoted by the press, the government policies which make the life of so many people so much worse, the systematic unfairness at the heart of our society which people seem happy to ignore. I am sufficiently angry to want to do something about all of this, but I don't know what there is for me to do. I don't think things can change unless people in power stop being selfish dickheads, which seems unlikely. It has been quite educational to be thinking about all of this while reading about historical revolutions (the French revolution of 1789, the failed rebellion of 1832, the successful rebellion in Spain in 1936 and its horrific consequences). What makes a person rise up in armed revolt against the state? And why do they think it will work? I am not advocating armed rebellion myself, mind - I don't think it's likely to work, and the chances of getting killed are very high. But it is an interesting question.
Things never done before:
Got a credit card. The flexibility it gives and the financial security it indicates are really something.
Resolutions:
I tend to make resolutions with despair - find a better job, finish that article, stop being a failure at last - and while I would like to do all of those things in 2015, I thought perhaps a more positive attitude would be helpful this time around. So: make plans to travel in Europe. Spend more time in museums and art galleries, and engage with them. Learn Italian - not perfectly, but more than I did before. Learn more things to cook, and enjoy cooking more. Dance more. Sing more. Enjoy what I'm wearing more. Drink less, but with more enjoyment.
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Date: 2015-01-01 02:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-01-01 05:03 pm (UTC)