wildestranger | The Avengers; or, How Overwhelming Hotness Took Over the World

Last weekend I went to see Avengers Assemble with

emeraldgreen. Now, I could tell you about the rest of our fangirl shenanigans, and how we went to secondhand bookshops and I bought all the books (okay, I cannot refrain from telling you, by all the books I mean Suetonius, Euripides, and Martial, and yes, I do secretly want to be a classicist), and had to visit a Richard III museum because my mother wanted a t-shirt (they didn't have one, I bought her a fridge magnet instead), and then had the BEST WINE EVER in a tapas bar (seriously, every single sip caused a moan of pleasure), but I know you're more interested in my thoughts on the film.

My thoughts, let me show you them.

First of all,

emeraldgreen had made us finger puppets of Loki, Thor, Iron Man, and three more Lokis. Yes, we are on Team Loki. Yes, we played with them during the film. Mostly my Loki told her Thor to fuck off, which I thought was consistent with his characterisation.

Okay, things I liked:

Everything.

In particular,

- to see Steve Rogers go. I don't actually find Chris Evans that attractive, but there is something quite mesmerising about the way things move inside his pants. I would happily look on some more of that.

- Steve Rogers' commitment to his shiny red boots even when out of uniform. That said, I was disappointed that the scene where Tony comments on Steve's skintight spandex wasn't quite as we'd seen in the trailer - that version was better and more delightful in every way.

- Tony Stark and his everything! His nicknames for everyone! His insistence that Coulson's first name is Agent! His bickering with Steve in a way that they're about to start bumping/rubbing their chests together! His conversations with Bruce! His offering Loki a drink! In short, his face!

- Natasha Romanoff and her everything! I am so glad she had such a central role in the film, that she was cool and wonderful and competent and hot, that she lied to the god of lies and smirked about it, and that she looked amazing while doing it. The part in the beginning where she talks to Coulson on the phone while interrogating/being interrogated by people was brilliant. I really hope she will get a film of her own, and is included in the films of others. The world needs more Natasha.

- Bruce Banner and his everything! How he conceptualises his condition, how he speaks about it, how he narrated intelligently! (And the writers assuming that we are not idiots! What strange folly is this?)

- LOKI AND HIS EVERYTHING. Everything from 'you puling (mewling?) quim' to asking for a drink at the end, his conversation with Fury and his attempt to suborn Tony (his face when he can't!), all of his interaction with Thor and its complexities of betrayal and love and bitterness (BOYS). Every word out of Tom Hiddleston's mouth is precious, and precisely formed for a purpose - I think his Loki might be not only the best villain of all superhero films, but the most complicated and best performed character. I'm really looking forward to seeing what they will do with Loki next. ~~Also, he is clearly a Slytherin and therefore one of my people.~~ And I did trufax clap my hands when he said 'Sentiment!' with such contempt. Because, well, quite.

I'm sure there are things I've forgotten about. I might have to go see it again. Just so that I can tell you more about my very important thoughts on Loki.