Fic: Deflowering Mr. Potter PG-13
Aug. 4th, 2005 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wildestrangerSo here's what I came up with for the Getting Rid of Harry's Virginity challenge at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
pornish_pixies. There's no sex yet, this is just the first part, and I don't like it very much. But it made ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kabeyk gag for Harry/Sirius/Remus (for some reason, as this doesn't happen in the fic) and so I thought I'd post it for you all to see. I'm not convinced it works, and I'm not sure if I want to continue it further. Now, I'm not posting this just so you can all say it's great and stroke my ego about it (although that is also nice). But what I'm interested in is whether it works as a story in the sense of making you want to know more. As a writer I'm too close to see this myself, with most of my stories I can, but with this, no. So tell me. This is a very different style from anything I've tried previously, so any constructive comments are most welcome.
And I've never written Harry before. This makes me unsettled. Also there is some Remus/Tonks, in a way. Although those of you who know how I feel about this pairing will not be surprised...or disappointed with how I deal with them.
“Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear me…Happy birthday to me!”
The kitchen of 12, Grimmauld Place was cold in the middle of the summer. But Harry liked it that way, escaping from the oppressive heat of July sun was almost as good as escaping from all the people who wanted to shake his hand and ask if he was all right and tell him what to do. He had told Ron and Hermione that he didn’t want a birthday party, and that staying alone in a decrepit old house was what he wanted to do instead. They hadn’t taken it well. Harry had had to promise to come for a nice family meal at the Burrow later that week.
He knew his friends thought that he was depressed, still in mourning for Dumbledore and for Sirius, still wanting vengeance on Snape. He did, but that wasn’t why he wanted to spend time on his own. He knew there were things he had to do and he was making plans to get them done. Finding out more about Horcruxes, about Voldemort’s plans and Snape’s role in the Order. He would do what he had to do, and not complain about it. But there was something else he wanted to do first.
He had thought about Ginny a lot over the last few weeks. He had expected to miss her, but instead there was a strange feeling of rightness in knowing that they weren’t together anymore. He liked Ginny a lot, and fancied her, but the idea of seeing her again didn’t make him feel anything. Even the idea of shagging her, which Harry admitted he had thought about, wasn’t all that appealing.
And that’s what he wanted to do. Not shag Ginny, that is, but shag somebody. The Boy Who Lived couldn’t shag anybody, couldn’t be distracted by such things. But there was something quite embarrassing about being a virgin. And worrying about it was just as distracting as relationships would be, so better to get it over and done with. Better get it out of his head.
Yet sitting on his own on his birthday wasn’t likely to get him laid. But it did give him time to think, time away from everybody else, time to think about whom he might want to sleep with and how to go about it. Time also to have a few drinks and maybe a wank later on. Harry grinned. Now that he was an adult, of course, no one could say he wasn’t allowed to.
He had spent a lot of last year watching Draco Malfoy. And while he hated the git, it had occurred to him that Malfoy was a very good-looking boy. The feeling Harry had when they were fighting was not unlike the feeling when he was about to snog Ginny. There was excitement, a rush in his blood, a pleasurable squirm in his stomach that told him he was about to do something. And while Harry didn’t fancy Malfoy, it occurred to him that he might fancy another bloke.
There were attractive men in the Order, in his school, in his circle of friends. But he couldn’t go and ask them to have sex with him. It would be too embarrassing. So he had to think of something else.
There were footsteps in the hallway. Harry stood up, wand at the ready. All the people who could get in should be Order members, but Snape was still a member and they hadn’t figured out enough charms to make the house suitably secure yet. As the door creaked open, Harry had raised his wand and was prepared to see whomever it was before they saw him. Then he lowered his hand.
Tonks’ hair was still pink, but it was more a pale pastel then defiant neon. She looked as tired as she had all through the last year, and her eyes were shifting nervously around the room. But her smile at least tried to be genuine.
“Wotcher Harry. You on your own here?”
Harry sighed and put his wand back in his pocket. He didn’t particularly want to explain it all over again.
“Yeah. Wanted some quiet time, you know, to think.’
“But isn’t it your birthday today? Why aren’t you at the Burrow?”
Harry’s discomfort must have shown on his face, because Tonks tried to smile again.
“Never mind, Harry. We all want some quiet every now and then, don’t we?”
Harry nodded. There was something terribly desperate in her tone of voice.
“What are you doing here, then? If you thought I was at the Burrow?’
Everybody knew that Harry lived in 12, Grimmauld Place. The Order had moved its headquarters to another location with professor McGonagall as its secret keeper.
“I was looking for Remus. Haven’t seen him in a few days, he’s been avoiding me, and I…”
Tonks seemed to visibly deflate at these words, and sat down heavily on the sofa. Harry sat down next to her.
“I thought you two were, um. Together.”
Tonks gave a little laugh.
“Yeah, me too. But he changed his mind. Again. Told me it wouldn’t be fair on me, that I was too young…as if I haven’t told him that it doesn’t matter. I still want him. How can he not see that?”
Harry thought that Lupin probably saw it just fine, but had other reasons to refuse. But Tonks wouldn’t want to hear that.
Harry mumbled something and looked at his hands.
“I mean, you would want me, right Harry? You don’t think I’m ugly or anything?”
Harry felt a sudden upsurge of sympathy for Lupin.
“No, of course I would, I mean, you’re a beautiful woman, Tonks…”
But as he spoke, Tonks’ shape began to shimmer and change. Pink hair turned red, and her slim figure became smaller, curvier. Ginny would never look at Harry with such an expression on her face, but otherwise it was the spitting image of her. Harry swallowed.
“Tonks, I don’ know what…”
But she had moved closer, and grabbed his face in her hands, and then she was kissing him. Harry didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he kept them by his sides. It was different from kissing Ginny; Harry was very aware that this was Tonks behind the face, and anyway, Ginny would not have been that with her hands. But there was a warm mouth on his and delicate hands undoing his shirt, and all the thoughts Harry had been having before Tonks arrived came back with a force. There were soft breasts against his chest, and Tonks’ hand was moving down on his stomach…Harry jerked and pushed her away. This wasn’t what he wanted.
“What’s wrong, Harry? Is Ginny not what you want?”
Then her hair was turning into Hermione’s brown curls, then Ron’s short red hair, then Charlie, then Fleur. Harry stared on, speechless.
“Who is it, Harry? Who do you want?”
Tonks’ voice was tearful, and it took Harry a moment to recognise the black hair and grey eyes before him. It wasn’t Sirius as Harry had known him, gaunt and grey and desperate, but a young Sirius, with pale perfect skin and an uncertain grin on his face.
“Harry?”
Tonks was moving closer again and then Sirius’ hands were in his hair, and Harry moaned when he kissed him. There was a hard chest against his, and Harry’s blood was pounding in his ears because this was it, this was what he wanted. He was pulling Sirius’ t-shirt off his body, running his hands across his skin, and they were pressed hard against each other, grinding and moving and kissing.
“Harry! Where are…”
Lupin’s voice came through the open door, and Harry froze. He turned and saw Lupin standing across the room, staring at them with incredulous eyes. The shabbiness he had carried all last year had begun to vanish and there had been a new spark, a new determination in him these last few weeks. But as Harry watched, all the blood drained from Lupin’s face, and he looked as if he had been kicked in the face. He was grabbing the door handle to steady himself, and his voice almost broke when he tried to speak.
“Sirius?”
His voice was quiet, but there was more desperation in it than Harry had ever heard in a human voice. But then Lupin’s eyes narrowed and his back became straighter, and his voice sharp.
“Change back. Change back right now.”
He wasn’t quite shouting but his voice echoed in the silent room. Harry felt Tonks shift beside him, and caught a shimmering blur in the corner of his eye as she changed back into a heart-shaped face and pink hair. Her eyes were defiant.
“What do you think you were doing? A nice birthday present for the boy, give him back his dead godfather? What were you going to do, Nymphadora?”
Harry could see Tonks flinching at his use of her first name, and then deciding not to make an issue of it.
“I was going to give him what he wanted!”
“And what might that be?”
Harry had never seen Lupin like this. He had always been kind, using words that made people feel good about themselves, but now his voice was harsh in a way that made Harry feel sorry for Tonks.
She was mutinously silent. Harry watched Lupin take in their dishevelled clothes and sprangling limbs on the sofa. He let out a soft laugh. It sent shivers down Harry’s spine.
“And did he tell you he wanted this? Or did you just assume?”
The words were clear and there was a disinterested curiosity in his tone, but such anger and coldness beneath it that Harry shivered again. His palms were sweating, and he was starting to feel sick over what had just happened. What had almost happened.
“Just because you are too much of a coward doesn’t mean everyone else is! And maybe I wanted it too! Maybe I wanted somebody to…”
“Oh yes. What you wanted. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Tell me, Tonks, did it ever occur to you that I might not want you back? That all those reasons I gave you might have been a polite way of informing you I wasn’t interested?”
The words were smooth, and sharp, and true, and Harry felt himself grow hard again.
“But why? Why, Remus? I love you!”
“Does it matter why? Suffice it to say that I don’t.”
“I thought you were gay.”
Both Lupin and Tonks turned to look at Harry.
“When Sirius was alive, I thought you and him were…”
Lupin smiled.
“Well done, Harry. See how a seventeen-year-old boy can figure out what you can’t? Most of the Order knew about Sirius and I, although we were always careful not to make public announcements about it.”
“But Molly, she told me we were made for each other, that I shouldn’t give up…”
“Molly Weasley likes to think of herself as a matchmaker. She disapproved of Sirius, still disapproves of me. No doubt she thought you could save me from the evils of homosexuality.”
Tonks was staring at Lupin, clearly trying to think of something that would change what she had just heard. But Lupin looked on, merciless, barely interested in her reaction. Yet Harry could see he was still shaken by what he had seen, and what had taken place between Tonks and Harry. There were teeth marks on his chest and his back, hidden against the sofa, had bloody scratches all over it from her nails. And he hadn’t noticed, hadn’t cared at the time because it felt so good.
Tonks stood up abruptly. She was looking at Lupin, expecting him to say something that would make her stay, but he remained silent. There were things going on in the room that Harry couldn’t understand, and some that he could but didn’t want to.
“Bye, Harry.”
Her voice was loud and high. Harry could barely mumble a goodbye before she’d walked out, her footsteps sharp in the quiet house.
Then it was just Harry and Lupin.
pornish_pixies. There's no sex yet, this is just the first part, and I don't like it very much. But it made kabeyk gag for Harry/Sirius/Remus (for some reason, as this doesn't happen in the fic) and so I thought I'd post it for you all to see. I'm not convinced it works, and I'm not sure if I want to continue it further. Now, I'm not posting this just so you can all say it's great and stroke my ego about it (although that is also nice). But what I'm interested in is whether it works as a story in the sense of making you want to know more. As a writer I'm too close to see this myself, with most of my stories I can, but with this, no. So tell me. This is a very different style from anything I've tried previously, so any constructive comments are most welcome.And I've never written Harry before. This makes me unsettled. Also there is some Remus/Tonks, in a way. Although those of you who know how I feel about this pairing will not be surprised...or disappointed with how I deal with them.
“Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear me…Happy birthday to me!”
The kitchen of 12, Grimmauld Place was cold in the middle of the summer. But Harry liked it that way, escaping from the oppressive heat of July sun was almost as good as escaping from all the people who wanted to shake his hand and ask if he was all right and tell him what to do. He had told Ron and Hermione that he didn’t want a birthday party, and that staying alone in a decrepit old house was what he wanted to do instead. They hadn’t taken it well. Harry had had to promise to come for a nice family meal at the Burrow later that week.
He knew his friends thought that he was depressed, still in mourning for Dumbledore and for Sirius, still wanting vengeance on Snape. He did, but that wasn’t why he wanted to spend time on his own. He knew there were things he had to do and he was making plans to get them done. Finding out more about Horcruxes, about Voldemort’s plans and Snape’s role in the Order. He would do what he had to do, and not complain about it. But there was something else he wanted to do first.
He had thought about Ginny a lot over the last few weeks. He had expected to miss her, but instead there was a strange feeling of rightness in knowing that they weren’t together anymore. He liked Ginny a lot, and fancied her, but the idea of seeing her again didn’t make him feel anything. Even the idea of shagging her, which Harry admitted he had thought about, wasn’t all that appealing.
And that’s what he wanted to do. Not shag Ginny, that is, but shag somebody. The Boy Who Lived couldn’t shag anybody, couldn’t be distracted by such things. But there was something quite embarrassing about being a virgin. And worrying about it was just as distracting as relationships would be, so better to get it over and done with. Better get it out of his head.
Yet sitting on his own on his birthday wasn’t likely to get him laid. But it did give him time to think, time away from everybody else, time to think about whom he might want to sleep with and how to go about it. Time also to have a few drinks and maybe a wank later on. Harry grinned. Now that he was an adult, of course, no one could say he wasn’t allowed to.
He had spent a lot of last year watching Draco Malfoy. And while he hated the git, it had occurred to him that Malfoy was a very good-looking boy. The feeling Harry had when they were fighting was not unlike the feeling when he was about to snog Ginny. There was excitement, a rush in his blood, a pleasurable squirm in his stomach that told him he was about to do something. And while Harry didn’t fancy Malfoy, it occurred to him that he might fancy another bloke.
There were attractive men in the Order, in his school, in his circle of friends. But he couldn’t go and ask them to have sex with him. It would be too embarrassing. So he had to think of something else.
There were footsteps in the hallway. Harry stood up, wand at the ready. All the people who could get in should be Order members, but Snape was still a member and they hadn’t figured out enough charms to make the house suitably secure yet. As the door creaked open, Harry had raised his wand and was prepared to see whomever it was before they saw him. Then he lowered his hand.
Tonks’ hair was still pink, but it was more a pale pastel then defiant neon. She looked as tired as she had all through the last year, and her eyes were shifting nervously around the room. But her smile at least tried to be genuine.
“Wotcher Harry. You on your own here?”
Harry sighed and put his wand back in his pocket. He didn’t particularly want to explain it all over again.
“Yeah. Wanted some quiet time, you know, to think.’
“But isn’t it your birthday today? Why aren’t you at the Burrow?”
Harry’s discomfort must have shown on his face, because Tonks tried to smile again.
“Never mind, Harry. We all want some quiet every now and then, don’t we?”
Harry nodded. There was something terribly desperate in her tone of voice.
“What are you doing here, then? If you thought I was at the Burrow?’
Everybody knew that Harry lived in 12, Grimmauld Place. The Order had moved its headquarters to another location with professor McGonagall as its secret keeper.
“I was looking for Remus. Haven’t seen him in a few days, he’s been avoiding me, and I…”
Tonks seemed to visibly deflate at these words, and sat down heavily on the sofa. Harry sat down next to her.
“I thought you two were, um. Together.”
Tonks gave a little laugh.
“Yeah, me too. But he changed his mind. Again. Told me it wouldn’t be fair on me, that I was too young…as if I haven’t told him that it doesn’t matter. I still want him. How can he not see that?”
Harry thought that Lupin probably saw it just fine, but had other reasons to refuse. But Tonks wouldn’t want to hear that.
Harry mumbled something and looked at his hands.
“I mean, you would want me, right Harry? You don’t think I’m ugly or anything?”
Harry felt a sudden upsurge of sympathy for Lupin.
“No, of course I would, I mean, you’re a beautiful woman, Tonks…”
But as he spoke, Tonks’ shape began to shimmer and change. Pink hair turned red, and her slim figure became smaller, curvier. Ginny would never look at Harry with such an expression on her face, but otherwise it was the spitting image of her. Harry swallowed.
“Tonks, I don’ know what…”
But she had moved closer, and grabbed his face in her hands, and then she was kissing him. Harry didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he kept them by his sides. It was different from kissing Ginny; Harry was very aware that this was Tonks behind the face, and anyway, Ginny would not have been that with her hands. But there was a warm mouth on his and delicate hands undoing his shirt, and all the thoughts Harry had been having before Tonks arrived came back with a force. There were soft breasts against his chest, and Tonks’ hand was moving down on his stomach…Harry jerked and pushed her away. This wasn’t what he wanted.
“What’s wrong, Harry? Is Ginny not what you want?”
Then her hair was turning into Hermione’s brown curls, then Ron’s short red hair, then Charlie, then Fleur. Harry stared on, speechless.
“Who is it, Harry? Who do you want?”
Tonks’ voice was tearful, and it took Harry a moment to recognise the black hair and grey eyes before him. It wasn’t Sirius as Harry had known him, gaunt and grey and desperate, but a young Sirius, with pale perfect skin and an uncertain grin on his face.
“Harry?”
Tonks was moving closer again and then Sirius’ hands were in his hair, and Harry moaned when he kissed him. There was a hard chest against his, and Harry’s blood was pounding in his ears because this was it, this was what he wanted. He was pulling Sirius’ t-shirt off his body, running his hands across his skin, and they were pressed hard against each other, grinding and moving and kissing.
“Harry! Where are…”
Lupin’s voice came through the open door, and Harry froze. He turned and saw Lupin standing across the room, staring at them with incredulous eyes. The shabbiness he had carried all last year had begun to vanish and there had been a new spark, a new determination in him these last few weeks. But as Harry watched, all the blood drained from Lupin’s face, and he looked as if he had been kicked in the face. He was grabbing the door handle to steady himself, and his voice almost broke when he tried to speak.
“Sirius?”
His voice was quiet, but there was more desperation in it than Harry had ever heard in a human voice. But then Lupin’s eyes narrowed and his back became straighter, and his voice sharp.
“Change back. Change back right now.”
He wasn’t quite shouting but his voice echoed in the silent room. Harry felt Tonks shift beside him, and caught a shimmering blur in the corner of his eye as she changed back into a heart-shaped face and pink hair. Her eyes were defiant.
“What do you think you were doing? A nice birthday present for the boy, give him back his dead godfather? What were you going to do, Nymphadora?”
Harry could see Tonks flinching at his use of her first name, and then deciding not to make an issue of it.
“I was going to give him what he wanted!”
“And what might that be?”
Harry had never seen Lupin like this. He had always been kind, using words that made people feel good about themselves, but now his voice was harsh in a way that made Harry feel sorry for Tonks.
She was mutinously silent. Harry watched Lupin take in their dishevelled clothes and sprangling limbs on the sofa. He let out a soft laugh. It sent shivers down Harry’s spine.
“And did he tell you he wanted this? Or did you just assume?”
The words were clear and there was a disinterested curiosity in his tone, but such anger and coldness beneath it that Harry shivered again. His palms were sweating, and he was starting to feel sick over what had just happened. What had almost happened.
“Just because you are too much of a coward doesn’t mean everyone else is! And maybe I wanted it too! Maybe I wanted somebody to…”
“Oh yes. What you wanted. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Tell me, Tonks, did it ever occur to you that I might not want you back? That all those reasons I gave you might have been a polite way of informing you I wasn’t interested?”
The words were smooth, and sharp, and true, and Harry felt himself grow hard again.
“But why? Why, Remus? I love you!”
“Does it matter why? Suffice it to say that I don’t.”
“I thought you were gay.”
Both Lupin and Tonks turned to look at Harry.
“When Sirius was alive, I thought you and him were…”
Lupin smiled.
“Well done, Harry. See how a seventeen-year-old boy can figure out what you can’t? Most of the Order knew about Sirius and I, although we were always careful not to make public announcements about it.”
“But Molly, she told me we were made for each other, that I shouldn’t give up…”
“Molly Weasley likes to think of herself as a matchmaker. She disapproved of Sirius, still disapproves of me. No doubt she thought you could save me from the evils of homosexuality.”
Tonks was staring at Lupin, clearly trying to think of something that would change what she had just heard. But Lupin looked on, merciless, barely interested in her reaction. Yet Harry could see he was still shaken by what he had seen, and what had taken place between Tonks and Harry. There were teeth marks on his chest and his back, hidden against the sofa, had bloody scratches all over it from her nails. And he hadn’t noticed, hadn’t cared at the time because it felt so good.
Tonks stood up abruptly. She was looking at Lupin, expecting him to say something that would make her stay, but he remained silent. There were things going on in the room that Harry couldn’t understand, and some that he could but didn’t want to.
“Bye, Harry.”
Her voice was loud and high. Harry could barely mumble a goodbye before she’d walked out, her footsteps sharp in the quiet house.
Then it was just Harry and Lupin.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 04:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 04:24 pm (UTC)Guess I'm just doomed.
But thanks! Will probably continue it.
And the tonks/remus was the best part. I enjoyed that so much.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 04:39 pm (UTC)*thinks* In that case, maybe you should sign up for a challenge that doesn't contain the word "deflower". I'm just sayin'. ^__~
But for the record, you'll hear no complaints from over here! ^__^
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 04:46 pm (UTC)But if I can convince you to read Harry paired with Them Older Parental Figures (also known as the dark side) than I am proud. Seeing as I'm also a little squicked by them myself. *g*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 04:53 pm (UTC)Oh? If this turns out to be Harry/Draco, I will have your babies. For real. Or any other bribe or whatever you name. Hell, you turn this into Harry/Draco - combined with THAT Remus/Tonks - and you own me for life.
But yes, I will still read it even if it's the squicky parental type stuff. *g* And I'm so glad I'm not the only one that squicks.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 04:57 pm (UTC)*continues to smirk evilly*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 07:15 pm (UTC)Now that's one hell of a question... If we're talking about ME...I have a thing for redheads, so probably Bill. Hm...but Harry? There are plenty of men who could pop Harry's cherry for him. I can't wait to see which one you've picked! *g* (If I had to place a bet it would be on Remus.)
And - do you happen to have a link to the actual challenge? I would very much appreciate it...
no subject
Date: 2005-08-04 01:51 am (UTC)here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/pornish_pixies/334117.html)
I just couldn't resist you know...
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 04:27 pm (UTC)Leila
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 04:33 pm (UTC)But yes, will continue but can't say when. Will say it won't be soon because I have so many things with deadlines I need to do. But at some point. Harry will lose his virginity, fear not. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-03 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-04 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-04 12:04 am (UTC)Tonks is just the way I've always seen her - delusional with a side-dish of self-pity. It must have hurt Remus so much to see Harry and Sirius, even if it was just Tonks as Sirius.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-04 01:53 am (UTC)And thank you!
no subject
Date: 2005-08-04 05:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-04 07:04 am (UTC)Hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Date: 2005-08-05 02:58 am (UTC)Thank you! *sighs, recovers from the cackle*
“Molly Weasley likes to think of herself as a matchmaker. She disapproved of Sirius, still disapproves of me. No doubt she thought you could save me from the evils of homosexuality"
Word. God Tonks is such a right bint.
Although I'm not into Harry/Remus or the preslash of it, I just need to thank you for this bit of prose.
Thank you.
Re: Hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Date: 2005-08-05 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-18 02:40 pm (UTC)No! YOu must finish! You can't leave me lusting like this!
Though, it's a good way to start the community.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-18 02:48 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-29 02:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-30 03:04 am (UTC)