sarcasm always wins out in the end

There must be something wrong with me as I cannot, cannot make a red pasta sauce.

Or rather, I can make it but it won't be very pleasant - edible, sure, but not really tasty in any way. I can't count the times I've tried a different recipe, or a new kind of tomato/tomato can, to try and make it better, and it has never worked. This is incredibly frustrating since I really love a well-made tomato sauce, and would like to be able to make it myself. I am generally a good cook, so I don't understand why this keeps happening, and ARGH.

Ahem.

So, if you happen to be one of those people who are able, through some kind of MAGIC, to produce this wondrous meal, please can you help a girl out? Or direct me to a recipe? Or SOMETHING? Please. Otherwise I might end up throwing the whole thing on the wall, and my flat is already covered in disgusting things. It does not need extra orange.

I'm having a massive panic attack.

Some of you might remember that a few months ago I had to throw away a pair of boots because they'd become infested with maggots. What I don't think I mentioned here is that a week before moving out of my last house, my housemates and I kept finding tiny white insects in our kitchen - particularly on clean dishes and such, but generally around one area that included my food cabinet, the dishrack, and the hob. They look like dust specks until they start moving, and they were really hard to kill. I had to throw away most of my food, and we used insecticide on the whole area, except on glassware and such.

After I moving to my new place, I've been checking all my glasses for anything that might move. I've been paranoid about it, because I really didn't want to bring the infestation here. After a few weeks I started to relax since I hadn't seen one insect here, but then yesterday, calamity struck. Yes, I'm allowed to be melodramatic, I'm this close to tearing my hair out.

I found one of these insects on a pair of boots. The boots have been living in my closet with all my other shoes, my clothes, some valuable books.

I also noticed several of these insects on my glassware. Washing them doesn't help - I've started using Dettol but I don't think that will either. I haven't seen any signs of them on my food, yet, but the kitchen is quite small and everything has been everywhere at some poins. At least two cupboards have been infected, and I fear that they might be in the rest of the flat as well.

I haven't been able to figre out what they are yet - not termites, because they don't shy away from light, not sprigntails, because they don't jump. But if you've had similar experiences, please advice me. I am really panicking about this.

Help?